It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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