I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize