Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
