Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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