I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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