is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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