He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
