I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
