just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
