Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
