its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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