your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
