So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
