I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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