She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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