Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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