i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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