the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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