you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize