I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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