is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
