I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sext me about skeletons
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
