he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
