I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
