I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
