He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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