Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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