hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
