So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
