Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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