Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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