Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
