Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
