Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize