i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
