And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
