Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
