so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
