You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
