just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
