Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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