i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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