Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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