I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
