how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
