If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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