Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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