I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
