You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
