Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
