hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
