and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
