Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
