carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
