After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
