walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
