What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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