9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
