I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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